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"Who could be so lucky? Who comes to a lake for water and sees the reflection of the moon." Rumi


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One Year In

E942593_10151395495651607_1514799709_nFourteen days ago I received a notification about my One Year Anniversary with WordPress! One year and 14 days ago, I was convinced I knew what I was trying to achieve with this blog. But now, I’m not so sure and it feels great because I don’t have the headache of having to find the right topics, photographs or poems to specifically post on my blog. One year and 14 days ago I wrote my first post about which I smile every time I read. I was attempting to reach enlightenment through what? I now realize it’s not a goal you reach and then move on to the next. It’s self discovery from every level forever. It’s being aware of life knowing not all the answers yet remaining peaceful and being faithful that whatever the outcome should be, it will provide room for growth and wisdom.

Here’s an (un)apologetically short synopsis of the year before my blog began, the year during, and the beginning of another year into the blog.

  • 2011 was the start of a season that I would have never imagined. Coming out of a long term relationship, i engaged in a culture of artistic social gatherings, slowly crawling out of a shell that hid many talents and gifts I was blessed with.  I built many strong connections with whom I would be working with today, supporting one another in many ways.
  • 2012 was my real awakening, involving dismay, pain, frustration, (re)connection, fasting, appreciation, gratefulness, broken relationships, bonds built, fuller awareness, etc… It marked the beginning of a new life with different perspectives and a clearer mindset. It opened me up to tolerating, respecting and appreciating different religions, including participating in different rituals and practices from several belief systems that inevitably have expanded my growth.
  • 2013 is coming into bloom. This year is the year that my changes from 2012 will find their space to dwell in. A year of decision and action.

Like I stated in my previous post, I’ve been absent a lot more than I was last year. But I wont be gone for too long. I’m grateful for the connections I’ve made throughout the year, the wonderful souls that have blessed me with their knowledge, their accounts of experience, their art, their stories, their philosophies, etc. I’ve learned many things from all of you. Yes i’m referring to all of you who’ve inspired, motivated and supported me thus far through my blog and yours. I’m also very humbled to have been awarded many times for my blog throughout the year. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Peace, blessings and love always ♥,

your Moon in full 🙂

 

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Fellow bloggers, readers, friends and family,

I have neglected you. I miss my days of ranting and rambling, provoking thoughts and amateur photography. How I long to interact with you on a deeper cyber-galactic level, to share my experiences, thoughts, dreams and well, my art. I apologize for diluting my posts these past several months. I’ve replaced your pulp-filled natural juice glass with ordinary sugar water, but you deserve fresh linguistic concoctions of reflections with a healthy dose of inspiration and a dash of insanity. Life must take its course though, and as of late, the wind has blown me in different directions. I promise to not leave you permanently, to make up for the time I have been away in other ventures. But know that you hold a special place in the vast, warm ocean that is my heart.

Sincerely,

The one and only Moon

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A New Season

Tis such a busy season. I’m taking some time off  between work to write because I have many thoughts in my head and wish to share with you. I’ve been learning some new lessons; well, still in the process, but I’ve become aware of some weaknesses that have been put to the test lately.

“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process.” -Rumi

  1. Patience: I am currently working on becoming creative in the ways I will make money. My job is not my career, much less my passion. Accounting, it’s good to know, but it isn’t something I actually enjoy doing. I’m glad I have this knowledge though because it will benefit me for my future plans. I truly want to become more flexible with my time; I want to become more available to do the things I enjoy doing, and do so while increasing cash flow. I have a plan and it’s somewhat in the works. But it’s taking longer than expected and a bit more complicated than I originally thought. However, it’s teaching me patience. It’s teaching me that anything worth doing takes time in the making. Vegetable blossoms don’t grow overnight. So I realize this gives me time to organize my thoughts and even write an outline of my plans. (I’m not very disciplined but am learning how to be).

“This discipline and rough treatment are a furnace to extract the silver from the dross. This testing purifies the gold by boiling the scum away.” – Rumi

  1. Discipline: I’m realizing that especially in a fast-paced society, discipline and structure are actually very necessary. Many people repel those words because they automatically associate them with restrictions, like I once did until now. Does a tree not have structure in its growth and sustainability? Is there no structure in pollination? Is there no structure with our internal organs? Is discipline not a way of organizing oneself to simply follow through with goals or even chores? Well, I tend to have many unfinished goals and my chores pile up ever so often. I’m also realizing that having a full-time job and being an artist is quite a lot to juggle. There are many activities that I feel are necessary for my growth, and juggling work and late night events takes a toll on me. For example, how do I fit in my reading, poem memorization,  meditation, exercise and food-planning with work and performances? I feel pressured to maintain and increase my efficacy at work whilst maintaining and increasing my artistic presence in the local scene as well. I’m working on finding a balance between all things, and it just might mean sacrifice.

“O, happy the soul that saw its own faults.” – Rumi

  1. Ego: Man, I never thought any situation would ever affect me in a way that would ‘hurt’ my ego. And well, I have a confession: I actually feel a bit threatened by someone who was brought into work over the weekend. As most of you all know, I am the only employee among three CPA partners, e.g. my bosses. A young lady was brought in to help me out through this busy season, but I felt offended and a bit threatened. I forgot what it’s like to have co-workers and have not dealt with the competition that goes on in the workplace and have not been in a ‘survival of the fittest’ mode in a long time. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m not accepting of her, but now she presents another option for my bosses should her work efficiency surpass mine, and being that she’s studying accounting, she may just have more oomph in the way she works because it’s something I assume she feels passionate about. I was finding every reason to point out how illogical her ‘temporary’ contract would be. I was disappointed and stressed. Then I realized my ego is really taking a hit. Why would I be against someone else’s progress? She needs the experience and possibly the job as well. I confided in two people whom their opinions I value. And then I saw this situation through different lens and decided that now, more than ever, I have to focus on those plans I spoke of earlier. Perhaps it is my time to finally move on and allow someone else to grow but not without a strategic plan that will allow me to ascend however this situation may play out.

 

I’m feeling way better than I was this and last week. I’m feeling optimistic this morning, looking forward to my new chapter. A plethora of developmental changes awaits me yet again!

Ah, self-growth, a never-ending journey.


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Simple Wishes for the New Year!

2013: It’s a new year and another cycle with recycled seasons!

Wishing you all wealth, health and joy in every aspect of your life.
And may you have the courage and boldness to follow your dreams and speak your truth.
May you expand your taste buds into a healthier consciousness and loosen your joints to become more flexible and less rigid, to become free and not enslaved in your own stubbornness.
May you open your mind and heart to allow the old to seep out and the new to flow in.
May you learn a bit more each day, enjoy your own laughter and be patient with those around you.

Happy New Year!
♥ – Moon


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My Nature

Reflecting in the nude with all inhibitions down and my aura fixed in transparency,

I come to terms with a being I just recently began seeking, though I’ve known for a lifetime.

I sit back and analyze every vibration that flows through my veins, from one extreme to the next.

Conscious of my inadequacies, I study my behavior like a baby learning he’s attached to his limbs.

My heart is open, my mind is free, and my soul is at peace.

I rest assuredly knowing that I am one with nature, a connection that can never be torn.

The oxygen I breathe is shared with the animals that roam the land,

The sun that feeds life into flowers and trees energizes my being,

The water that cleanses the stains of this earth consumes my body whole.

The skies promise the splendor of a day,

And with every passing cloud, there’s a resemblance of the changes I face,

Envisioning a truth different from the rest.

I know not yet where I’m going,

But I am positive that I head toward the right direction.


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My first 5K

Eight years ago, I would have never thought that I would be running 5Ks for fun. I’ve been physically active since I was nine, but running long distance was never part of my lifestyle. And for the past 8 years laziness had invaded my body. Needless to say, every time I would feel courageous enough to go out and run, weakness would then invade my mind.

A few months ago I thought I finally overcame my fear of running. I even wrote about here. Sadly enough, I never progressed.

However, in September, my sister registered with a co-worker for Dunn’s Race, benefiting The Boy’s and Girl’s Club in Broward. She asked me to join.  I hesitated. Then I asked myself, what’s stopping me? There was no answer because I know nothing was. So I went for it. We began training with only a month before the race. In four weeks, we probably trained about 2 and a half in total.

Sunday, October 7.

The race was held in Deerfield Beach – 30 miles plus away from where we live. We got there at 6:30 am. Here we are still feeling sleepy before the race.

Since we were by the beach, i decided to take in the view, meditate a bit and get myself ready.

Ok, the sun starts coming out now. And my sister’s friend showed up with a team. It was soon time to run. The moment of truth was finally here. There was no turning back. We were super nervous as you can tell by our faces!

And we began. My sister and I stayed close to each other though she was a bit behind me. I kept looking back and making sure I wouldn’t lose her. After all, we were in this together. Maybe half a mile in and I lost her. When I saw her way in the back, she signaled for me to keep going. I hesitated because I thought I should wait for her. But I kept going.

I saw the 1 mile mark. My eyes lit up. Wow, I thought, I can’t believe I made it this far. I kept going. I was trailing Chris, her co-worker’s boyfriend. He was my marker. I wanted to make sure that he was still in close view. Either that or pass him (which by the way I tried). Then we came to the turn-around point, which meant a mile and a half. I hadn’t stopped yet. I kept going. I caught up to Chris and passed him for a few seconds, but then he gained speed. After two miles I was still going. I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t stopped!

People of all ages were running and walking in front, behind and next to me. They kept me motivated and distracted from my mind. Then, I began cramping, but I kept going. But the pain got stronger, and I began to feel queasy. Noooo, I thought, just what I needed. So I stopped my run and decided to walk it off a bit. I only took 4 semi-walking steps and to my surprise, because of momentum, my legs began running again. But shortly after, the cramping became worse and I had to force myself to walk fast instead. All this happened after 2 miles of running. Chris was still in site. I had to keep going. So I was running on and off.

There was a bridge coming up and I decided to run nonstop since the finish line was getting close. I mustered much needed strength to go up the bridge and ran down rather easily. I was approaching the end. I just ran for it, full force, full speed, no stopping.

And I made it! My sister came in four minutes later. I wanted to cry. For eight years I feared running, I didn’t believe in myself, I didn’t feel capable of achieving this. And I did. This 5k was a marathon for me. I never felt so proud. I still can’t believe it.

After the race was over, I looked up my time; I made it in 35:07. In my age group and gender, I was 17th place. I felt awesome.

I took one last picture of the beach after the race.

They fed us Panera Bread. And there was a Firetruck parked in the lot for free painting. So I grabbed a hat and joined the fun!

I cant wait for the next race. And not because running is fun, but because it takes me out of my element. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment that I crave now. Yay for me! 🙂

As for my shoes, I am giving them up. I’ve had them since 2006 and for the past year, i don’t how many time I’ve had to crazy-glue the sides.

But I’m glad that after all these years, my pumas were able to taste victory with me!