i am

"Who could be so lucky? Who comes to a lake for water and sees the reflection of the moon." Rumi


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A New Season

Tis such a busy season. I’m taking some time off  between work to write because I have many thoughts in my head and wish to share with you. I’ve been learning some new lessons; well, still in the process, but I’ve become aware of some weaknesses that have been put to the test lately.

“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process.” -Rumi

  1. Patience: I am currently working on becoming creative in the ways I will make money. My job is not my career, much less my passion. Accounting, it’s good to know, but it isn’t something I actually enjoy doing. I’m glad I have this knowledge though because it will benefit me for my future plans. I truly want to become more flexible with my time; I want to become more available to do the things I enjoy doing, and do so while increasing cash flow. I have a plan and it’s somewhat in the works. But it’s taking longer than expected and a bit more complicated than I originally thought. However, it’s teaching me patience. It’s teaching me that anything worth doing takes time in the making. Vegetable blossoms don’t grow overnight. So I realize this gives me time to organize my thoughts and even write an outline of my plans. (I’m not very disciplined but am learning how to be).

“This discipline and rough treatment are a furnace to extract the silver from the dross. This testing purifies the gold by boiling the scum away.” – Rumi

  1. Discipline: I’m realizing that especially in a fast-paced society, discipline and structure are actually very necessary. Many people repel those words because they automatically associate them with restrictions, like I once did until now. Does a tree not have structure in its growth and sustainability? Is there no structure in pollination? Is there no structure with our internal organs? Is discipline not a way of organizing oneself to simply follow through with goals or even chores? Well, I tend to have many unfinished goals and my chores pile up ever so often. I’m also realizing that having a full-time job and being an artist is quite a lot to juggle. There are many activities that I feel are necessary for my growth, and juggling work and late night events takes a toll on me. For example, how do I fit in my reading, poem memorization,  meditation, exercise and food-planning with work and performances? I feel pressured to maintain and increase my efficacy at work whilst maintaining and increasing my artistic presence in the local scene as well. I’m working on finding a balance between all things, and it just might mean sacrifice.

“O, happy the soul that saw its own faults.” – Rumi

  1. Ego: Man, I never thought any situation would ever affect me in a way that would ‘hurt’ my ego. And well, I have a confession: I actually feel a bit threatened by someone who was brought into work over the weekend. As most of you all know, I am the only employee among three CPA partners, e.g. my bosses. A young lady was brought in to help me out through this busy season, but I felt offended and a bit threatened. I forgot what it’s like to have co-workers and have not dealt with the competition that goes on in the workplace and have not been in a ‘survival of the fittest’ mode in a long time. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m not accepting of her, but now she presents another option for my bosses should her work efficiency surpass mine, and being that she’s studying accounting, she may just have more oomph in the way she works because it’s something I assume she feels passionate about. I was finding every reason to point out how illogical her ‘temporary’ contract would be. I was disappointed and stressed. Then I realized my ego is really taking a hit. Why would I be against someone else’s progress? She needs the experience and possibly the job as well. I confided in two people whom their opinions I value. And then I saw this situation through different lens and decided that now, more than ever, I have to focus on those plans I spoke of earlier. Perhaps it is my time to finally move on and allow someone else to grow but not without a strategic plan that will allow me to ascend however this situation may play out.

 

I’m feeling way better than I was this and last week. I’m feeling optimistic this morning, looking forward to my new chapter. A plethora of developmental changes awaits me yet again!

Ah, self-growth, a never-ending journey.

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Rambling I am

So, I’m thinking of changing the concept of my blog. I mean, what was it to begin with? Who knows?! I only know that I’m just a single gal in seek of truth while I enjoy my freedom. I love myself more than I ever have, and I thought perhaps I should let the whole world know.

Originally, I began my blog in hopes of chronicling my path, that in some way or another, it would remind me of the obstacles, influences and other factors that have contributed to my growth. But I realize that I am not being fair. Simply because I am NOT recording my experiences like I said I would. I asked myself why not, and I came to the conclusion that doing so would entail disclosure of my private life; it would require that I post transparently about my journey. And although it may help some solemn individual somewhere out there in our world who also seeks for something more meaningful out of life than factory-like routines, do I really want to be that person who sacrifices privacy for the sake of inspiring others?

I don’t know. One, because I’m lazy. And two, because I actually have friends and fam who read this site. And it’s not that I’m hiding anything from them, but the anonymous-type blog that I formerly intended to create is no longer anonymous. And I’m fine with that. But I instinctively refrain from carrying out the original idea for this blog.

Perhaps the only thing I have complied with is posting some of my poetry, and displaying my amateur photography, or posting music that moves me. But was that not, in part, the purpose of my blog?

Regardless, I don’t even know why I am posting about this. Nobody even wondered whether or not I was abiding by my intentions.

There will be times when I openly speak on current personal experiences, other times those matters will be illustrated through different art forms, and sometimes I will just post randomness.

Do I even need to give explanations? I think not.
Maybe this was actually a “current personal thought”, so maybe I am complying! 😉

Here is a photograph for the sake of posting. It will also give you a random insight in the life of Moon.

*Disclaimer* The picture is of poor quality. It was taken at a cafe in Midtown, Miami FL.

1. My favorite animal is the elephant.

2. I recently had a dream that I was a white lotus flower. (The elephant seems to be watering it)

3. I am a borderline vegetarian. I guess that makes me a flexitarian.

3. The color of the wall where these cute drawings were made is purple. Some hints of lavender. Lavender is my favortie essential oil and the color of Amethyst, which I resonate with very much.


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“Just a matter of time…”

This is my beginning

For I’ve chosen the end.

No longer trailing along,

Lost in a desire that weakens my soul,

I now walk barefoot.

I confidently sat on a pedestal

Almost engraved with my name,

But as quickly as I was elevated

Tumbling down I came –

I was now on the backburner.

See last night I prayed.

Leaving behind what once held me high,

Shedding the layers that eventually

Dragged me down,

I just prayed.

My plea was answered before I even began.

Yet there I prayed – seeking reassurance.

Going back in time,

I realized I was driving past exit signs

Time after time, disguised in numbers –

Each representing the many occasions

I wished to retract on my journey

And many of my regretted actions.

But God spoke to me,

Forgave me for the guilt I carried in the backseat,

Buried with accessories necessary for one’s travels.

This expedition had an expiration date

From the moment I agreed to ride.

But this is my beginning.

And I smile because now I just drive –

Drive on a freeway at a comfortable speed

Windows down,

Hair blowing in the wind,

Sun kissing my skin…


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“I was reborn when I was broken” – Maxwell

I welcome you to this moonful of chronicles where wholesome intention and observation, along with things I am passionate about are freely expressed through experiences, nutrition and the arts (photography, poetry, music, dance, art).

For many years I had the ability to remain grounded in the midst of chaos because I stood firm in believing that we are all extensions of The Universe (or God). But two months ago, my state of  serenity was shaken with trivial, emotional and materialistic obstacles. I’d wake up every morning with no sense of purpose and within a state of confusion and indifference. Every circumstance became a burden; every lesson became a punishment. I felt trapped in my own body, a prisoner  of instability. I was a thirsty feline slurping from an empty fountain.

Until one night. A friend bluntly, but with love, pointed out the root of my “struggles”: ME. Every smudge of charcoal on the canvas that is my life – every smudge representing said burden and punishment– was then simplified.  I realized at that moment that every struggle was implanted by my psyche and those circumstances and lessons that I dreaded would eventually contribute to my growth.

Within the past couple of years, I have adopted an holistic approach to life, more specifically in nutrition, aesthetics and nature. And in the past half year, I applied the same approach to my ideologies. But two weeks ago, my demeanor on life itself shifted. I am learning to embrace every second knowing that yesterday is no more and tomorrow has yet to exist. I wake up every morning with pure intention in my heart. This change has come about through Reiki healing, meditation and mindfulness.

A lover of arts & nature, I will share pieces of my heart through my work and others’. Join me as I tread through a journey of enlightenment. One ♥

Blessings,

Moon