i am

"Who could be so lucky? Who comes to a lake for water and sees the reflection of the moon." Rumi


One Year In

E942593_10151395495651607_1514799709_nFourteen days ago I received a notification about my One Year Anniversary with WordPress! One year and 14 days ago, I was convinced I knew what I was trying to achieve with this blog. But now, I’m not so sure and it feels great because I don’t have the headache of having to find the right topics, photographs or poems to specifically post on my blog. One year and 14 days ago I wrote my first post about which I smile every time I read. I was attempting to reach enlightenment through what? I now realize it’s not a goal you reach and then move on to the next. It’s self discovery from every level forever. It’s being aware of life knowing not all the answers yet remaining peaceful and being faithful that whatever the outcome should be, it will provide room for growth and wisdom.

Here’s an (un)apologetically short synopsis of the year before my blog began, the year during, and the beginning of another year into the blog.

  • 2011 was the start of a season that I would have never imagined. Coming out of a long term relationship, i engaged in a culture of artistic social gatherings, slowly crawling out of a shell that hid many talents and gifts I was blessed with.  I built many strong connections with whom I would be working with today, supporting one another in many ways.
  • 2012 was my real awakening, involving dismay, pain, frustration, (re)connection, fasting, appreciation, gratefulness, broken relationships, bonds built, fuller awareness, etc… It marked the beginning of a new life with different perspectives and a clearer mindset. It opened me up to tolerating, respecting and appreciating different religions, including participating in different rituals and practices from several belief systems that inevitably have expanded my growth.
  • 2013 is coming into bloom. This year is the year that my changes from 2012 will find their space to dwell in. A year of decision and action.

Like I stated in my previous post, I’ve been absent a lot more than I was last year. But I wont be gone for too long. I’m grateful for the connections I’ve made throughout the year, the wonderful souls that have blessed me with their knowledge, their accounts of experience, their art, their stories, their philosophies, etc. I’ve learned many things from all of you. Yes i’m referring to all of you who’ve inspired, motivated and supported me thus far through my blog and yours. I’m also very humbled to have been awarded many times for my blog throughout the year. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Peace, blessings and love always ♥,

your Moon in full 🙂




My first 5K

Eight years ago, I would have never thought that I would be running 5Ks for fun. I’ve been physically active since I was nine, but running long distance was never part of my lifestyle. And for the past 8 years laziness had invaded my body. Needless to say, every time I would feel courageous enough to go out and run, weakness would then invade my mind.

A few months ago I thought I finally overcame my fear of running. I even wrote about here. Sadly enough, I never progressed.

However, in September, my sister registered with a co-worker for Dunn’s Race, benefiting The Boy’s and Girl’s Club in Broward. She asked me to join.  I hesitated. Then I asked myself, what’s stopping me? There was no answer because I know nothing was. So I went for it. We began training with only a month before the race. In four weeks, we probably trained about 2 and a half in total.

Sunday, October 7.

The race was held in Deerfield Beach – 30 miles plus away from where we live. We got there at 6:30 am. Here we are still feeling sleepy before the race.

Since we were by the beach, i decided to take in the view, meditate a bit and get myself ready.

Ok, the sun starts coming out now. And my sister’s friend showed up with a team. It was soon time to run. The moment of truth was finally here. There was no turning back. We were super nervous as you can tell by our faces!

And we began. My sister and I stayed close to each other though she was a bit behind me. I kept looking back and making sure I wouldn’t lose her. After all, we were in this together. Maybe half a mile in and I lost her. When I saw her way in the back, she signaled for me to keep going. I hesitated because I thought I should wait for her. But I kept going.

I saw the 1 mile mark. My eyes lit up. Wow, I thought, I can’t believe I made it this far. I kept going. I was trailing Chris, her co-worker’s boyfriend. He was my marker. I wanted to make sure that he was still in close view. Either that or pass him (which by the way I tried). Then we came to the turn-around point, which meant a mile and a half. I hadn’t stopped yet. I kept going. I caught up to Chris and passed him for a few seconds, but then he gained speed. After two miles I was still going. I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t stopped!

People of all ages were running and walking in front, behind and next to me. They kept me motivated and distracted from my mind. Then, I began cramping, but I kept going. But the pain got stronger, and I began to feel queasy. Noooo, I thought, just what I needed. So I stopped my run and decided to walk it off a bit. I only took 4 semi-walking steps and to my surprise, because of momentum, my legs began running again. But shortly after, the cramping became worse and I had to force myself to walk fast instead. All this happened after 2 miles of running. Chris was still in site. I had to keep going. So I was running on and off.

There was a bridge coming up and I decided to run nonstop since the finish line was getting close. I mustered much needed strength to go up the bridge and ran down rather easily. I was approaching the end. I just ran for it, full force, full speed, no stopping.

And I made it! My sister came in four minutes later. I wanted to cry. For eight years I feared running, I didn’t believe in myself, I didn’t feel capable of achieving this. And I did. This 5k was a marathon for me. I never felt so proud. I still can’t believe it.

After the race was over, I looked up my time; I made it in 35:07. In my age group and gender, I was 17th place. I felt awesome.

I took one last picture of the beach after the race.

They fed us Panera Bread. And there was a Firetruck parked in the lot for free painting. So I grabbed a hat and joined the fun!

I cant wait for the next race. And not because running is fun, but because it takes me out of my element. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment that I crave now. Yay for me! 🙂

As for my shoes, I am giving them up. I’ve had them since 2006 and for the past year, i don’t how many time I’ve had to crazy-glue the sides.

But I’m glad that after all these years, my pumas were able to taste victory with me!